Given its title, it seems strange that this book should have jumped out at me the way it did. But sometimes you only notice the things you want to notice, like when you learn something new and then you see it everywhere.
If you haven't come across it already, I am talking about Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I read it in a few days a couple of weeks ago – it's really fascinating if you are an introvert yourself, or just looking to understand one.
One of the issues that the book raises is the fact that extroverts are often afforded extra importance, credibility and success purely because they are able to make themselves heard in a way that introverts find more difficult:
Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better-looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends... research shows that the voluble are considered smarter than the reticent – even though there's zero correlation between the gift of the gab and good ideas.
Susan Cain examines this in great and fascinating detail, and finds that this distinction is true in most cases, apart from when it comes to the online world, where introverts are able to 'speak' just as loudly as extroverts are, without having to fight to be heard. She references a 2008 Mashable article by Peter Cashmore entitled: 'Irony Alert: Social Media Introverts?', which suggests:
Perhaps social media affords us the control we lack in real life socialising: the screen as a barrier between us and the world.
If you're interested, Susan Cain's TED talk on the power of introverts, in which she basically summarises her book, can be found here.
If you haven't come across it already, I am talking about Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I read it in a few days a couple of weeks ago – it's really fascinating if you are an introvert yourself, or just looking to understand one.
One of the issues that the book raises is the fact that extroverts are often afforded extra importance, credibility and success purely because they are able to make themselves heard in a way that introverts find more difficult:
Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better-looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends... research shows that the voluble are considered smarter than the reticent – even though there's zero correlation between the gift of the gab and good ideas. Susan Cain examines this in great and fascinating detail, and finds that this distinction is true in most cases, apart from when it comes to the online world, where introverts are able to 'speak' just as loudly as extroverts are, without having to fight to be heard. She references a 2008 Mashable article by Peter Cashmore entitled: 'Irony Alert: Social Media Introverts?', which suggests:
Perhaps social media affords us the control we lack in real life socialising: the screen as a barrier between us and the world.
ooo this looks good! added to the reading list!
ReplyDeletei enjoyed this article, and your little review of this book. i think the internet definitely makes us braver - and ash such it's a great tool for introverts. i wouldn't call myself an introvert. but i would say i'm a forced extrovert because i recognize that more things will be afforded to be if i am so. but when i get home i just want to curl up and shut up!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean, and she actually does cover that in the book. Personally, I wouldn't go as far as saying I am a forced extrovert per se, but I guess I'm more of a forced 'less introvert than I really am', if that makes any sense at all.
DeleteThe internet does make people braver, for certain, so I think it really is better for introverts – though of course the down side of that is the way people feel suddenly liberated to take out all their aggression on internet message boards etc.
I met a fairly famous blogger (in the education industry) a few years back after following her blog for a long time. I was shocked at how introverted and socially awkward she was in person: she could not make eye-contact, had a timid demeanor, and mostly kept her opinions to herself. It definitely made me view her blog differently, and I'm not sure that it was for the better. I'm one of those weird extroverts that's really an introvert, so I definitely want to read this book! Thanks for the tip (and I love your blog!)
ReplyDeleteWow, that's really fascinating: the extremes of what I was trying to get at. Interesting too that it kind of changed the way you see her blog – I guess that ties in with the whole slightly disingenuous projected-lifestyle/personality thing that bloggers are often criticised for.
DeleteThe book actually covers introverts who act like extroverts with some really insightful case studies – I kind of do the same to a certain extent, so I found that part to be really illuminating.
I was talking about this the other day, what a coincidence! I guess I'm a quiet person by choice and I can be a little extra extroverted if the situation requires. But having a blog definitely makes me braver.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely – that's pretty much how I feel too. There is a bit in the book about what I think she calls 'forced extroverts' who are able to turn it on if they need to, which is a category I think a lot of introverts fall into.
DeleteHa ha. Oh yes, I am one of those introverts - and not an introvert that acts like an extrovert. I LOVE blogging as I am actually very opinionated and often feel like I'm being drowned out by other people's small talk. It's interesting though that while people appreciate thoughtful contemplation on a blog, they rarely do so in person. In a blog, reflection and creativity are appreciated. In real life, one is expected to chatter.
ReplyDeleteI think you're quite right actually – being thoughtful in general social situations can often come across as awkward, that or people just don't know how to react to it (depends on the crowd though, I suppose) whereas it works much better written down.
DeleteI'm reading this book right now! So far, a lot of what she says has really resonated with me. I've just gotten to the part where she's debunking the idea that people work and think better in groups and that open plan offices are the way to go. For me personally, that is very true, I like having a space apart where I can work and think. Although I found it funny that she admits to having written most of the book in a local coffee shop. I guess balance between interacting with and seeing other people and alone time is the key?
ReplyDeleteThat's a coincidence! I was pretty amazed by all the evidence against group work, even for extroverted people who like that sort of thing. I'm absolutely the same, and find it much more difficult to come up with my best ideas when there are lots of other people around, although coffee shops are the exception for me too, which is weird. Balance between the quiet and the bustle is definitely key, you're right.
DeleteWell, this really is a beautiful book. I am actually quite out-going. But I like blogging for some of the same reasons that you do. People that know me are usually expecting me to keep them entertained...to keep the conversation going. I feel like it's my job! With blogging I have an opportunity to express myself at my own pace without the audience waiting eagerly for the punch line. I can't wait to read this book. Thanks for the tip!
ReplyDeleteConnie*
Oh wow, I hadn't thought of it like that before. How interesting. I guess blogging lets you say what you want with out that pressure, which must be a welcome change.
DeleteOh yes, I've always thought blogging is a haven for introverts and loners. And it's one of the reasons I shudder at the idea of some of those blog-meets as I picture a bunch of shy people standing around feeling awkward (I know I would be!)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for putting this review out. I'd never heard of this book until now. I definitely count myself as an introvert. I'm not necessarily shy but I do feel like it takes me longer to digest information; mostly because I want to provide something genuine and thoughtful in return. I think most extroverts find these pauses to be awkward. What also works against me is my voice is so soft so in loud spaces I feel like I'm yelling to be heard. Blogging has been such a great space for me to engage in ways I can't seem to in public.
ReplyDeleteThis is something that I have actually been struggling with! I feel fairly introverted in real life situations, but much more comfortable in my online presence. Probably because in person, I feel the need to scrutinize and contemplate things I want to say, when there usually isn't much time or patience for that. And online, I can take however long I want.
ReplyDeleteIt's so true though. I need to get my hands on this book.
I heard about this book a while ago and am very keen to read it. I too consider myself to be an introvert and feel much more able to express myself in writing, which is why i'm so glad to have a wee space on the internet in which to do so. i did read one review of this book that said the author loses her way at the end and the book starts to drag... did you find that? i still think it would make a very interesting read.
ReplyDeleteI can kind of see their point a little bit – probably the last two chapters or so do veer off a little bit, and I do remember skimming them a bit. I took so much from the rest of the book though that the loss of direction at the end had very little impact – you should definitely still read it!
DeleteI'd like to get a hand on this book. It seems like I'll get insights that I won't be able to think for myself about Introverts. Based on a personality test I took in college (i forgot what it was called) I'm an ISFJ, yeah, the I stands for introvert, and I can't disagree with that. I can speak more my mind (as well as show how i see things) on the web than in real life but as much as I can, I let my voice be heard from time to time though I must say, I feel overwhelmed with a big crowd.
ReplyDeleteYou make such an interesting point about blogging being so compatible for introverts...
ReplyDeleteI am both an introvert & an extrovert, I think, depending on the situation & who I am with. At a party the other day I was sat with a friend who described me as "outgoing-shy" & although it's an oxymoron it's 100% accurate.
Becky | lifestyleflash.com
I read this book recently as well. It was so...comforting.
ReplyDeleteAt times it feels so strange to be a blogger considering what an introvert I am. But I've always been the type who prefers to write things down, to take time to formulate my words and think before I speak. It's difficult to do that in verbal conversations (unless the other person is aware enough to realize your introversion and is then patient with you.)
Blogging + Introvert seems like an odd notion but really it's a great fit.
I loved how the book brought up Pseudo-Extroverts, introverts who temporarily pretend to be outgoing to either get a job done or fit in. I've found myself doing that a lot in the past. I still do. Sometimes I just have to put on my big girl pants and do things that don't come naturally. But when it's over, I need plenty of downtime time to recoup.
Overall, I think people are a mixture of introverted/extroverted. It's not too often you find someone who is extreme on one end of the scale.
I've read this book too, and found it interesting because like you, I'm an introvert, and I feel that this world is very much built for extroverts in our models for 'success' in our personal and professional lives. It's often a case of me having to bend my personality to suit others, rather than the other way round. It's interesting to bring blogging into the mix here, because while I've found it to be such a good outlet for my own introverted personality, I also recognise that the blogging model of 'success' is likewise built on extroversion. There's a certain line of privacy I won't cross, and that limits what I can do with my blog. I also don't feel comfortable using myself as content for my blog - I don't post photos of myself, or display my life for the world to see. The way I show myself is through my writing, and to me that's a very personal and vulnerable act, but also something that speaks of my introverted and shy personality.
ReplyDeleteA bit late to find this post, but I'm completely fascinated by discussions on introversion/extroversion. As an introvert myself, I loved Susan Cain's TED talk, but I haven't read her book yet! Definitely want to though - do you think it's worth it to buy? Or is it more of a read-it-once book that could be borrowed from the library?
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that the world is more so suited to extroverts, but I think the internet is definitely a wonderful way to even the playing ground a bit. I feel like a lot of people don't get, or mis-understand introverts (or possibly just me...) and honest, open discussions on the topic help both sides a lot.